I want to move out so bad, I'm so hot and can't even turn the cooling on. It has to get to 30. 29? Too cold it's got to get exactly 30 or I have to die from the heat. If I lived on my own I could turn the cooling on now and not have to put up with my parents music and have a shower at what ever time I wanted. I've saved enough to move out I just need to wait and see if I'll get a permeant job.

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I am having a great week not working, I'm catching up with Alex jones and movies and my fav shows. I also had the best Xmas ever. I'm looking forward to 2011. I hope my job becomes permeant so I can move out of this house. I hate having my room so close to the kitchen. And I'll be able to listen to Alex jones at work anyway and use my favorite cafees free wifi for the Internet. Oh well, one day...

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When I lived in Wagga I weighed 130 kg. When your fat and you don’t realize your fat that can be a problem. Living in denial is the worst, ok denial is bad when your denying your gay or something like that but denying your fat when there is something you can do about it is life threatening because you might get diabetes when it could be prevented. My parents both told me I should do something about my weight and I yelled at them every time, accusing them of calling me fat. I just didn’t think I was fat, I looked at other fat people and thought I wasn’t like them, ok so maybe I wasn’t thin but so what?

But luckily I found out I was fat when I moved to Canberra 2 years ago and weighed myself and saw I weighed 130 kg. But I didn’t want to do anything drastic. At the time I had chocolate for afternoon tea every day, a magnum AND a Tim tam for desert every night and chocolate cereal and also something big for morning tea. So I stopped having a Pepsi every day and just had it on Friday and I cut down on my chocolate. I think the major step came when I stopped having a pizza every Friday and take away every weekend. I lost about 20 kg from that. I also started having Sultana Bran instead of Milo cereal. I also stopped having magnums and tim tams for desert. That was hard because they’re so tasty.

Then I got to a point where I just couldn’t loose any more weight so I started going to the gym. At first I didn’t notice the change but then the kg started going off.

I also stopped having milkshakes or cakes, even when I was having a treat. I think the old me would have treats at least once a week. I also started giving up having fruit juice but I did have coffee when I needed it.

Then I made the decision to give up Pepsi and chocolate, I only had it on Friday and when I went out (I’d have a coke if there was no Pepsi)

I also went on a low carb diet and had veggies with my meat for dinner instead of rice or potatoes. Thanks to a woman I meet online who gave me the suggestion I stopped having an extra 200 calories a night, which meant I had 1400 calories less a night.

I also went on the biggest loser club and that caused me to start watching my calories so I only had things for morning tea that didn’t have many calories and the same with afternoon tea. For a while, all I had was fruit. Until I looked for something which had less calories. That’s when I started eating weight watchers. I had it for morning tea and afternoon tea and it is only 10 calories. I also started having continental soup and country cup noodles for lunch which meant I was having less calories and I gave up desert altogether and I gave up milk.

I think another factor is my new job, I work in facilities so I walk around for a bout 3 hours every day delivering mail, putting paper in printers, emptying shredders, cleaning meeting rooms etc for a wonderful company that is nice and friendly to me.

I now weigh 83 kg and I’m proud of it. My self esteem was really low 2 years ago, I felt inferior and thought I was worthless and hated the world but now thanks to my weight loss and my job I feel much better about myself. Sure, I’m not perfect and my body isn’t 100% perfect I accept that and I also accept I can’t help it, but I could help how much I weigh.

I am no longer angry at the world or God now. I don’t think there’s some conspiracy to enslave me and mankind and I don’t hate God for making me this way because now I realize if I was normal it would be even harder for me to get a job. The only reason I got this job was because I have club feet and joined a job network for disabled people. They got me an interview and talked to employees for me. If I had normal feet I wouldn’t have been able to go with them and I would have gone with a normal job seeker network and all they do is let you look for jobs twice a week and make you fill out some paper. They’re useless. I truly believe before I was born when I was in the Otherside my spirit guides and I decided she would be the one who helped me get my job. Just like I think my spirit guides arranged meetings with other people I meet online. I know they are a lot of Christians who think it’s silly to believe in that sort of stuff or spirit guides are demons but I believe in them and I believe in myself more now, this is who I am and this is what I believe.

So it’s no longer a conspiracy against myself, life is a wonderful journey where we are here to learn life’s lessons. And I am learning them left right and centre.

I hope I still have some friends on live journal who read my updates, if not oh well it’s just a journal and it makes me feel good about myself to look at the person I once was and the person I am now. My dark side sometimes rears his ugly head but it is happening less and less now.

Work has been good, I like my team leader- she's nice. I'm looking forward to the holidays though which will be in less than a month. Oh and I saved so I have almost $12000. I also got star trek voyager DVDs can't wait till they arrive. This is cooler than twitter you don't have a word limit.

Anyway, I'm moving! I got to look @ my new house today and I love it. I can't wait for next Friday, it's so exciting. I also lost 47 kg, I only weigh 83 kg. I no longer feel inferior and thanks to my weight loss and job I actually have confidence. I still have crap sleeps from getting up early but they are getting less frequent. Oh and also I stupidly agreed to go to dinner with friends on Tuesday, what was I thinking? Now I'll have less spare time on Tuesday. And what if I get insomnia?

Here is a pic of my new room

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I wrote an article, I know it's short but it has the evidence that Schapelle Corby was a innocent victim in a drug import network who didn't even intend on her to realize her bag had been used to import drugs. This article will prove her innocence and prove that baggage handlers in Sydney airport put the drugs in her bag. The are so many smoking guns.

Gary Lee-Rogers, who died under mysterious circumstances, gave evidence that they were security breaches at Sydney airport (1) he also made an anonymous phone call that he had stumbled upon a drug importation network in Sydney airport (2)

While this doesn’t prove Schapelle Corby was a victim of this network, it proves this kind of thing was going on so it doesn’t take much of a leap to suggest she might be unwittingly involved. Also the fact that her bag had her name on it and that she begged the court to take DNA evidence on the drugs shows she thought she was innocent. If she was guilty, why would she want to incriminate herself?

Apart from Gary Lee-Rogers evidence, Operation Mocha uncovered they were indeed baggage handlers that used drug mules to import drugs (3)

The last bit of evidence is from John Patrick Ford , John Patrick Ford said he overheard other prisoners saying Corby had been the unwitting victim of a domestic drug trafficking ring (4) before you accuse the prisoners of just talking, he said he would be killed if he named names (5) and he was stabbed in jail (6) How can that be a coincidence?

1. http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/10/18/1097951631677.html
2. http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200504/s1349467.htm
3. http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Baggage-handlers-tied-to-smuggling-racket/2005/05/10/1115584934120.html
4. http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2005/s1340634.htm
5. http://www.theage.com.au/news/National/Drug-baron-would-kill-us-Corby-witness-says/2005/03/29/1111862390431.html
6. http://fddp.theage.com.au/news/National/Corby-witness-stabbed-in-jail/2005/05/06/1115092657895.html

I' had a great weekend, I’m only sorry it’s almost over. Oh on Friday I had another good sleep. I think it’s because my mum was away. She’s noisy. Except I stupidly thought the 8.05 am bus no make that assumed the 8.05 am bus was a number 59 bus (that went to my bus stop) but it was a school bus! SO I had to order a taxi. Luckily it got me to the interchange in time and only cost $5 and I took a red x bus to my work and got there just in time. It was casual Friday so I just wore a t shirt. I had a normal morning but after lunch (just soup today) I helped a woman deliver the new something agreement. I meet some more people. Then I unpacked the dishwasher by myself. I took 2 busses to the gym (the bus driver wouldn’t let me stay on the bus after the civic interchange but I got the same one) after the gym my dad drove me home…late.

On Saturday I had a good sleep and used the internet for about 2 hours. My mum drove me to the civic mall and I shopped for a friends wedding with another friend. Then I had lunch and checked to see if there was a sale at the comic shop and there was. So I got a bunch of Buffy comics worth $60 or so for just $38 and took the red x bus home. I stupidly waited in the wrong bus stop! I think I could have gotten to the gym earlier. Anyway I went to the gym and found out Coles did the biggest looser club stuff so I got some snacks and went to the gym. Mum picked me up and it was pouring with rain. When I got home I watched TV and made my own dinner.

Today I had another good sleep and woke up at 8 am OMG sleep in! my dad drove me to the gym and picked me up and i got more delicious biggest looser stuff. When I went home I watched the X Factor which I recorded, used twitter and posted on usenet. And that’s my weekend. Sadly, it’s almost over.

Yes, I finally had 9 hours sleep for the first time in 3 days. I woke up at 6.45 am. I wish I got up sooner because I missed the bus that went to Gungahlin but my dad drove me to the bus stop anyway. I took the red x bus to work and didn’t have a coffee because I didn’t need one. I tried to get a bus to wait for a guy but the driver said something and drove off. I tried my good deed for the day. Work was ok and I went to Spill the beans, the best coffee place in Canberra, for lunch. I got a chicken snitchel roll. I went over the road to catch a bus back to Gungahlin but decided not to do that again, I got to Gungahlin at the same time I would have if I took the 59 bus there (give or take 10 mins or so. Not worth it) I went to the gym, meet a guy from my crs course I didn’t recognise and got a lift home where I watched TV and registered for centre links website thingy so I can tell them how much I got paid. Oh yeah and I got paid today.

Work has been ok. My stupid body has made me tired most days. On Monday I had a horrible sleep and was shown how to do stuff. Mum drove me in (as she did all last week) Last Tuesday I think I had a better sleep, Wednesday or Thursday I went to the gym because I put on weight from not going. On Saturday I went to the gym and helped with the shopping and on Sunday I went to the gym with my mum on the way to a interview so I took the bus to work on Monday and my dad drove me to the Gungahlin bus stop. Today I had another shit house sleep but my mum drove me but tomorrow I have to take a bus which I’m worried about.

I’ve basically been putting paper in printers, emptying shredders, delivering mail, delivering milk, cleaning up meeting rooms and going to meetings. Everyone has been nice and even though I have had crap sleep’s I would rather be working then not be employed and still be on centre link and having to go to that stupid job search course.

Yesterday i had a crap sleep, voted and looked at a house. Today i stayed hone all day and had an ok sleep. I hope i at least have a ok sleep for my new job tgat starts tomorrow.

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Yesterday i took a bus to the gym, a bus to belco and had lunch with a friend and played the pokies. Today i just went yo the gym and got a monthly bus pass. Last weekday of freedom comibg up yay! Work next week. Im also reibstalling windows vista bc my comp is becoming a piece of crap.

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